Welcome to my Life…Hard to Believe Funny Stories

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Since I’ve already shared with you my silly parenting stories (and fails) this week, I figured I may as well tell you a few more funny stories about myself while I am at it. When I think back on these, it’s almost hard to believe they are true. Welcome to my life!

That’s not really you. In college, I had my license taken away at a bar. Yes, I was of legal drinking age. It was my REAL license. Being an out of state student, this was a really big deal because I couldn’t just go down to DMV and say I lost it. It’s the most ridiculous story. I don’t know what kind of night the bouncer was having, but he told me it wasn’t my real nose in the picture. Since I haven’t had a nose job and I wasn’t wearing a funny clown nose, I have no idea what he was seeing. My nose is the same one I was born with. I ended up going home and calling the cops, who told me they couldn’t help me. At this point I was beside myself and went back to the bar. The guy still was not inclined to believe me and had me sign my name and then proceeded to tell me it wasn’t my signature. But after me arguing with him for quite a while, he gave it back and told me to never come back to that bar. It was the most bizarre night, and I was very happy when the bar went out of business a few months later!

That’s not a fire hydrant. When my husband and I were first married, we rented for a year while we built our house. Because we knew we wanted 2 dogs, we visited the local shelter pretty much every weekend for an entire year and walked dogs…we figured we’d find the ones we wanted this way. And we did. Well one of them anyway…the dog that I wanted found a home so we asked if they would put a hold on the other dog we wanted, because after walking him for almost a year, we were quite attached. They agreed to do so, and when we came by the following weekend, he had a roommate in his cage…the one dog we did not want. She was an abused guard dog, not at all affectionate and she scared me sometimes. But it was hard to say no when they said but she’s buddies with the dog you want and she’s really good with you guys (I wonder what she was like with other walkers?) so we did end up taking her. She turned out to be a great dog once she was in an environment where she felt secure. But back to my story…we were painting our new house with some friends, and we had asked if we could bring the dogs back to the house to get them used to their soon to be home. Imagine our embarrassment when one of our new pups lifted his leg to pee on one of our friends!

Do you know what your car looks like? I was at a soccer game a number of years back and had gone back to my car to get something. I opened the door to my car (which wasn’t my car) and an alarm went off. Not grasping that this wasn’t my car, I hit the panic button on my key and yet another alarm went off. This didn’t really register though. I pushed the panic button to turn it off, but one alarm was still going off and I couldn’t figure out why. Everyone at the soccer game at this point was probably wondering what the heck was going on in the parking lot because I kept pushing the panic button to try and get it to turn off, so sometimes there were two alarms going and sometimes one. So I enlisted the help of a friend to help me figure out how to get the alarm off. My friend took one look at the car and said “Michelle that’s not your car, that’s Trish’s car.” What a comedy of errors. Can I blame it on sleep deprivation?!

Do you have any funny stories that are hard to believe that they are true?

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